haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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