Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
