yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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