I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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