you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
