Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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