the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
so much tequila, so little girl.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
