Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Randomize