im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
where are you?
Hypothermia
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
