Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
