Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
