I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
