Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
