I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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