Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
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