I swear she didn't look like that last week.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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