Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
