I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Randomize
