I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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