Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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