But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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