I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
