Tell her she can't have a vagina
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Do you remember whose house we're in?
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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