you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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