You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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