stop calling my apartment porn island.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
