id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize