best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
