ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
