I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
