apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize