My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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