Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Small penises have feelings too.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
What happened to fro yo and sex?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Randomize
