i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
