just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Randomize
