All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
