it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
