i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
