He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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