I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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