she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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