Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
