White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
