This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
We had to coat check the pizza.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
