the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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