somebody snuck up and got me drunk
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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