Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
