I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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