i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
