just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
