Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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