He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
