whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
