basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
