Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize