You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
