Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
