Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
