really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
