people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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