office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
this is an emotional support booty call
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Randomize